Thank you, 2015. :)

Have you ever felt 365 days sweep by so quickly that you just wake up one day and realize that it's the last day of the year?

For people who lead a fast-paced life, this is probably the norm. One moment you're still running brainstorming sessions and setting objectives, next thing you know you're writing performance reviews and filling up the book of work for next year. For those who don't have much to fill their days with, I'd imagine there's a greater sense on anticipation, eager to close off this mundane chapter and hopeful for the next one. A new year always brings the promise of starting with a clean slate, the magic of new beginnings; it's impossible not to be hopeful.

I flew back home for the holidays on the 23rd of December which means that the last eight days of the year gave me a break from the corporate jungle. The first couple of days were spent with more sleeping hours than waking hours. As soon as my body recovered, I found myself reading most of the time, and reflecting on where exactly my energy and my efforts went for 2015. Photostream is probably the most useful tool when you're trying to recall milestones for the year. In the process of cleaning it up to make space for the photos that would come next year, I found myself rediscovering random shots that helped me remember what this year was all about. So here it is, the 10 things I'm thankful for in 2015, in no particular order:

1. Team Awesome

They say that if you find a job that you actually like, you'll never have to work a day in your life. Being a People Manager is something I've always wanted to do but is not exactly the easiest thing in the world. I have to deal with twenty different personalities, twenty different emotions that may or may not jibe with my own. When my managers tell me that I'm doing a great job, I tell them that this is really because I have an amazing team. And it's not because they come to work and they do everything as I say because I guarantee, there is always some friendly debate and witty banter going on in our little enclave. What I love about my team is that they are passionate about the work that they do. They are driven, they question things and they allow me to learn from them in the same way that they learn from me. How can you not look forward to coming to work when you have a team like this? 

2. Feast Makati

One sunday morning in February, I was exchanging text messages with my friend Odette about laundry and then she randomly asked me to attend mass at Glorietta 3 so we can have lunch afterwards. That was the day I discovered The Feast Makati and it has become my Sunday habit ever since. The talks have given me so much food for thought and have allowed me to grow spiritually. I am thankful for the moments that I get to reflect on the struggles that I face and the promises of God's Word. On days when I am weighed down by my worries, the hour that I spend for worship allows me to refocus my energy on what truly matters.

3. Monthly Foodie Sessions and Friends who keep me sane

One of the things that I set to do this year is to really make time for people that matter to me.

We've heard stories of friends who drift apart and outgrow each other and usually it's because of one thing: they stop exerting effort to stay in touch. 

This year, my friends and I made it a point to set a monthly date, meant for catching up and trying out new restaurants. Even on months when I was running on a tight budget, I never cancelled on them because I considered those dinner dates an investment for relationships that matter.  It's truly worth it and I am thankful for this support group that's been around since 2007. 

4. Friendships that cut across oceans

Two of my best friends moved to Hong Kong in 2014 but to this day, I can say that they know more about my life than people I share breathing space with. Thank God for Internet and Whatsapp, we manage to keep each other updated with our daily triumphs and struggles. On days when worries take over my mind and I doubt some of my decisions, Abby and Lei never fail to give me the support I need. They give me validation, they reassure me and sometimes, they show me what I might be missing in the picture. Our friendship is definitely one of my life's best blessings.

5. Family

Earlier this year, my family went through another heartbreak when my brother did not pass the bar exam. The day the result came out was a sad day for all of us. I cried several times and found myself questioning God why he had to go through such pain. My dad tried to mask his dismay by focusing on what lies ahead and encouraging my brother to try again. No doubt, whatever we felt paled in comparison to the pain that Leo had to go through, being the one struggled in law school for several years, and endured the grueling four Sundays. Something good came out of it though, because that experienced revealed our strength as a family. We may not be a barney-singing bunch who throw around i-love-you's and give each other hugs for no reason but one thing is certain, we will stick together and pick each other up when the going gets tough.

6. A relationship centered on Faith, Love and Respect

Sometimes my friends and colleagues would ask me how long Kokong and I have been together and that's only when I realize how long it's been.

I guess that's what happens when you don't really count the days, when you just move together with time and let the relationship grow in its own pace.

When I look back to how we started, I am still amazed that our relationship has blossomed to what it is now. It's not perfect. We still disagree, we still argue at times but we always find a way to make a compromise and ultimately this is what keeps us strong. We look ahead and make plans for the future with immense faith in God's providence.

7. Making a difference

Each time I pray and express my gratitude for all the blessings that I've received, I always include a request for God to lead me to where I'm most needed, to opportunities where I can share what I have. I'm not really the type who'd broadcast my charitable actions so I won't share too much detail. This year, I crossed paths with two individuals who shared the same dream that I had a decade ago. Their humility and admirable work ethic inspired me so much and I couldn't be happier that they allowed me extend help where they needed it.

8. Brilliant Moments

I can't fully explain why this is on the list but when a very senior person in your company calls you brilliant in front of your key stakeholders, it makes you forget all the long working hours and you suddenly have the energy to put your other 100 ideas into action. I am thankful for the recognition, I am not used to it and it doesn't come often. And when it does, I just feel like there's nothing in this world I can not overcome and every moment that you have that feeling is something to be thankful for.

9. My Own Place

Two years ago, I wrote a check to reserve a unit in Avida 9th Avenue. It was one of the bravest and scariest moments of my life. Am I really buying an apartment? Can I actually afford to for it? I am buying an apartment!

This year, that apartment was turned over to me and I moved in a couple of months after. I never expected to have my own place before I turn 30, but it happened and I couldn't be more grateful.

10. Answered Prayer

Only He knows our innermost desires, and He knows exactly when to give it to us. I prayed for it for so many months and admittedly, there were days when I almost lost hope, when I was close to just accepting that there's a different plan for me so I should just let it go. But each time I came close to letting it go, there was always someone, or something that would pull me back and make me believe a little longer. One night I just felt that so much brain energy has been wasted thinking about it so I literally just prayed and asked God to clear my head because I am leaving it all

up to him. The next morning, I woke up with a clear mind and a peaceful heart. On the same day, I found out that what I've been praying for all these months, is finally happening for real.

You were wonderful 2015. Yes, it did seem like you went by so fast but as I Iook back, it was really because there was so much that was happening, so much that I was blessed with.

Today is the last day but I don't feel like I am ending something. Maybe it's because I know that everything you've given me is a prelude to bigger and brighter things that await me in the coming year. :-)

Simple Joys

When you realize that you unconsciously saved up two thousand bucks by the end of the year... 

In life you will meet people who will believe that you can soar high before you even realize that you have wings.

I have a very low alcohol tolerance but I was more than willing to take this shot for one of the best managers I had in my career. Definitely no goodbyes, see you in 2016. :)

What I should have said yesterday

So you've had enough experience to handle awkward conversations? Good for you. Obviously what your experience didn't teach you is that in the grand scheme of things, being kind trumps being right. Every single time.

I hope that you never find yourself in his shoes someday. And if you do, I hope that you would have given enough kindness to the world so that there will be someone who'll defend you the way I defended him.

8 years of passion to perform

In a women's engagement session yesterday with two of our leaders from the region, someone asked them about their biggest regret in their career. I reflected on the same question and asked myself if I had my share of regrets. And i realized that careerwise, I can't think of any. Not that the road has been smooth the entire time but I just can't think of anything that I would want to change. I am celebrating my 8th anniversary with the bank today. Yes, celebrating is the right word. Work has been such a big part of my life in the past 8 years so it's a blessing to be doing something that gives me a sense of fulfillment. The next 2 years may be bumpy for the organization but I am grateful to have been given a seat in the bus as we go through this journey. I am looking forward to take part in the transformation.

Chasing A Wild Dream

This is the first time I'm writing about Philippine politics, and possibly the last. As shameful as it may sound, I admit that I was a very apathetic citizen. Philippine politics is something that I've never taken interest on and I have never participated as a voter in a single election. Yes, I know that being a non-voter means I have no right to complain about the government and how it's run and this is exactly why you never see me sharing my views on whatever crisis the country is going through on social media. At times I do express my dismay and frustration with greedy politicians when I speak with my close friends but that's about it. Like many people in their 20's and 30's, I also dream of making a difference in this world but I guess I've decided that I can still do that on my own or alongside people with pure and genuine intentions; it doesn't have to be through people in power.

With the 2016 elections fast approaching, it's impossible to let a day pass without seeing something related to the presidentiables in my newsfeed. Though I haven't completely decided on the candidates that I'd want to support, I realized about a month ago that perhaps it's time to end this apathy; I must register for the upcoming election. When news about the possibility of Davao City Mayor Rodrigo Duterte running for president started to spread, I became even more convinced that it was worth being a registered voter this time. While I'm not 100% sold on the idea of Federalism, he is one candidate that I see myself campaigning for. Obviously, I was not alone in this. In the past two weeks, the clamor of people for him to run continued to grow and by the time the COCs were due to be filed, there were actually people camping outside the COMELEC office in Intramuros, waiting for him to file his CoC for the presidency.

The reality is, he never spoke of his desire to run for the country's highest post. In fact, he insisted that he is not running, over and over again. But did this stop people from believing in him? No. People from all walks of life continued to hope. I never cared about politics but this week, for the first time in my life, I found myself closely monitoring the situation, hoping for good news to come. Two days before the final deadline of COCs, people started shaving their heads to show their support for Duterte. Barber Shops and Salons in Davao City even offered free head shaving services. Even after he filed his CoC for re-election as Davao City's Mayor, the shaving continued. OPM artists even collaborated on a song to convince him to run. This is how much people believed in him and you must be one hell of a callous person not to be astounded by  the kind of support people were giving. 

The last four hours of filing was probably the longest for people who believed that he would somehow show up at the last minute in Intramuros. When his daughter posted a photo of her CoC around noon yeterday, I got teary-eyed and like most people, took it as a sign that it was right to believe in him all this time. One of his close friends posted on facebook that a private jet arrived in Davao to pick him up and it was like that moment in a Transformers movie when Optimus Prime came back to life to fight Megatron. I could hardly concentrate on work because I was refreshing my news feed every two minutes. Minutes before 5PM, a statement was released through his official Facebook account reiterating that he is not running for president. For a few moments, I was in denial and I was hoping with almost every fiber of my being that his account was just hacked. But alas, 5PM came and there was really no trace of him in COMELEC. It was over, it was time to wake up from the wild dream.

Prior to the last day of filing, I told my friends that even if he doesn't end up running for office it was nice to see a huge portion of the population coming together for a cause, despite knowing that their efforts may just be for nothing. Mabuti naman na hindi lang puro loveteam yung kaya nating ipa-trend. I am not surprised that many people felt heartbroken with the turn of events. I for one had a lot of emotions over it which made me realize that as with everything else in life, it's heartbreaking when something you've believed in for so long ends up not happening. Naniwala ka eh, kaya masakit. May pakialam ka eh, kaya masakit. Now I had to ask myself, was it worth it? If I had continued to allow apathy to rule over me, I wouldn't have been attached to the idea and I would just be nonchalant about whatever I see in my news feed. Instead, here I am writing about politics for the first time on my blog. To answer the question, yes it was worth it. It was a great feeling to have something to believe in, something to fight for even just for a few moments. What's even greater is witnessing that there were many of you that believed in the same dream, first time soldiers that decided to join the army because finally there was a battle worth fighting for. Maybe patriotism isn't dead after all.

While I know that most of the people that believed in having Duterte as the president are still trying to move on from the idea, I sincerely hope that this will not result to the the "new soldiers" abandoning the army. We should not forget that the battle we are fighting for is not limited to just having a specific person to run for president, it is about building a nation with the highest standards, it is about cleansing and transforming a corrupt government, one step at a time. Kung nagawa nating magkaisa para iconvince yung isang tao na tumakbo dahil sya ang karapatdapat para sa posisyon, siguro naman magagawa rin nating magkaisa para hindi manalo yung mga walang karapatan maging bahagi ng gobyerno. We should never settle. We need to continue fighting until we get it right.

LDR Problems

Most days I don't mind being in a long distance relationship. I get to do my own thing, do my chores, decide spontaneously without having to check someone else's schedule, and have a bunch of stories that I can share with the boyfriend over the phone at the end of the day.

But there are days when I wish my boyfriend were living in the same city as I am. No, not on valentine's day. It's when I'm stuck in the emergency room all by myself, with an empty stomach (required for the CT Sonogram) and I badly want/need to eat something, but I am not allowed to leave the ER. Like today.

Buhay Makulay Children's Project: From children at risk to children of HOPE

I have been helping out with the Buhay Makulay Children's Project for several years now. Today is actually the fifth fair that I participated in and one would assume that by this time, I'd be so used to it already that it wouldn't be as impactful as the first one. No, that isn't and will never be the case. Each year and with each fair, there's always a story to tell; one that never fails to bring me teary-eyed and give me goosebumps. 

This year, I was assigned in the Sword Booth where the children were given sword cutouts for them to color and write their commitments in. Having been assigned to more "active" stations in previous fairs (e.g. Cookie decorating and pizza making), I had my doubts on how interested the kids will be in coloring a sword cutout. Plus, we were dealing with a 6-11 age group, could we really expect them to come up with commitments?

As usual, I was in for another surprise. Not only were the kids really engaged into decorating their swords, they also had really inspiring commitments! Most of them wrote that they promise to study hard and finish school. I know that it sounds very generic but I felt a tug on my heartstrings with this because knowing their circumstances, there's no certainty on how long they can actually stay in school. There was one kid who promised to buy a house someday. This one made me smile and I prayed that the promise will be a source of strength and motivation for him. My favorite is the boy who wrote that he wouldn't be afraid of darkness anymore because he has the sword of the spirit. This was one of the highlights from Tanya's introduction about the fair's theme for 2015. I was in awe at how he actually took away something from it, considering that he's only 10 and kids his age normally don't pay attention to opening talks because they're too excited for the actual activities to start.

At the end of each sword decorating session, we gave each kid a coloring book and a box of crayon with 16 colors. This again was another moment for me to be amazed by the children's maturity. The box of crayons and coloring books were within their reach and there were moments when I stepped out of the room. Did any kid try to get more than 1 box of crayon? No. Did any kid try to get someone else's coloring book. No.

Knowing their circumstances, of course wouldn't be a surprise if some children would marvel at the idea of a pile of coloring books right? Some might even think of trying to get as much as they can because who knows when they'll get another opportunity like that. But they were so well behaved and waited for their turn. When someone in the group missed out on the giveaway,  there was at least one person who'll remind him to get one. (Faith restored in humanity!) I was truly amazed and could not help to compare it with the Freedom Friday in the office last year. There was a pile of snacks in the pantry for the people and everything was gone in less than 30 minutes. At least half of the population didn't get their share and those who hoarded didn't even bother to drop a donation in the CSR box as instructed. And believe it or not, these are employees who are on the 30% tax bracket! Quite a comparison and the difference is astounding.

When I volunteered for Buhay Makulay in 2010, I initially thought of it as a one-time thing. I didn't expect that I will still be part of it five years later, that I will actually get to see some of the children grow, that it will be a constant reminder for me of how capable we all are to make a difference, regardless of our income bracket. I am also happy that it has become something that I get to share with my closest friends, (most of them have taken part in a Buhay Makulay activity at one point or another) and I hope to continue bringing the color of hope to these children in the years to come.

Beautiful Morning

We thank God for mornings like this,

nothing but the sound of strong waves

as they approach the shore,

the sky tinted with hues of pink and blue as we wait for the sun to rise. 

Raw and beautiful,

no filter needed at all.

At dusk, I watch the skyscrapers come  to life,

As they paint the clouds with a breathtaking skyline

These lights I've seen countless times,

Yet they still hold so much promise

I still find myself almost hypnotized

The same feeling I had at first glimpse

"Will you return to stay longer next time?", they ask

I hear myself whisper, "Someday, you'll see me coming back"

In between spoonfuls of sans rival mcflurry 

and red light stops

I've unconsciously let you inhabit 

this corner in my heart

Where childhood dreams and 

happy thoughts live, 

For as long as they possibly can.

How long you intend to stay there

Is a question I don't have an answer for.

#jessandmelanie2015

Some girls have to kiss several frogs before they get to the one who turns out to be a prince

While some girls are lucky enough to find a prince in the first man who plants a kiss on their lips.

Who would have thought that the "NBSB" in our little Grad Girl Group in the PM team would end up to be the first one to walk down the aisle and marry the man of her dreams?

When I joined DKS more than 7 years ago, Mel was the first person outside my grad program batch who became my friend. I was hired by the PM team to take over her tasks so she became my trainer. She's one of the most organized people I know and was the one who taught me to be OC with even the smallest things such as file names and subject lines. Spending most of our working hours with each other allowed us to get to know each other really well and it didn't take a long time for us to realize that we have a lot in common and became good friends even outside work. She was my shoulder to cry on when I was going through a  terrible heartbreak, would listen to my stories about attempts to move on, and surprised me with the best frozen brazo cake on my first birthday away from home. In between long working hours and getting frustrated in some meetings, she waited patiently for love to come into her life, the kind of love that makes you excited and giddy like in those chick flicks we watched.

We were on a weekend trip in Subic when she first told me about Jess. Even then, I somehow knew that Jess could potentially be The One. I didn't get to see them together as often as their other friends but in the few instances that I got to spend time with them as a couple, I witnessed just how caring Jess is of Mel. His humor complemented Mel's and his opinions about current issues showed his integrity and that he's someone who would stand up for the things that he believed in and people he loved.

I couldn't be happier that I got to witness Jess and Mel tie the knot. It was such an honor that they chose me to be one of their bridesmaids. While we were waiting for the ceremony to start, we teased Jess that perhaps Mel was already on her way back to Manila instead of heading to the chapel. He played along but we know the joke did not bother him one bit. That Mel was going to come and walk down that aisle was as certain as the beautiful sunset that would later come in sight. I don't know if wedding organizers put some sort of formula in all the brides' drinks on the day of their wedding. Somehow, brides are just glowing and look their most beautiful on the day they get married and this of course was the case for Mel. Tears were already flowing down her father's cheeks a few seconds after they started walking. Theirs was the most emotional bridal march I've seen and Abby and I had to exert much effort to stop our own tears from flowing. It was truly a beautiful ceremony. Their vows were genuine and heartfelt, and the priest's homily made us realize even more just how perfect they are for each other, because God brought them together. :)

Even though the guest list was probably a little more than a hundred, the whole event still felt very intimate. I was certain that every single person present either at the chapel or at the chapel knew the couple at some point and for some of the guests, the wedding reception doubled as a reunion of some sort. High school classmates, college friends, previous workmates had the chance to catch-up over cocktails and snapshots at the photobooth. It was great to see my teammates from the PM team. Though it's been years since the last time all of us were in one place, I still felt that same old feeling of comfort and assurance around them and we still laughed about the same things.

                       

Who's next? :)

Freedom (and responsibility) within a Framework

Because post-op requires me to get sufficient bedrest for a speedy recovery, I have more time than usual to catch up on my reading list. I am still on book number 1, Good To Great by Jim Collins.

Here's an insight from the book that I found striking and is definitely something I would want to emulate in my team.

"The good-to-great companies built a consistent system with clear constraints, but they also gave people the freedom and responsibility within the framework of that system. They hired self-disciplined people who didn't need to be managed, and then managed the system, not the people."

That Old Feeling

You've seen this long ago

But it remains too familiar

Heartbreak I guess, doesn't change how it feels

No matter how old you become

You type away to distract yourself

From the voices inside your head

Yet they continue to ring louder

Than the noise in the real world

The lyrics of an old memorized song

Suddenly becomes magnified

You start hearing the meaning

In a completely different light

You've seen this long ago

But it remains too familiar

Heartbreak I guess, may heal overtime

But the image does not leave your mind

You travel back to the long dark days

Unable to sleep after several tries

Staying in bed even when the sun is up

Obscuring reality by closing your eyes

You don't stop the tears from flowing

You allow yourself to feel the pain

Until the sad love songs no longer sting

And you are ready stop being broken

You've seen this long ago

So you know it's not permanent

Heartbreak I know, happens more than once

But always leaves you wiser than the last one

It's not always about the numbers

Your name was called and 

you stood up immediately

The past seven years of course

allowed you to master the drill

Out of excitement or maybe anxiety

You brought nothing with you

The boss said maybe it's a good thing

So you wont get to calculate anything

With a slight smirk you shake your head

You tell him, I can do it mentally instead

He recites the standard speech

That he memorized this morning

The only thing that sticks with you

Is that the numbers are final

And before you know it, the numbers were out

Initially it sounded good, you let a sigh of relief

He then went to the next step

Which left you confused at first

Did I hear the numbers right

This must be some kind of mistake

He went through it again for your sake

There was no denying it

Your mind's calculation was correct

Single-digit rate, far lower than expected

You had to ask yourself

Why am I still here again?

But then again, it wasn't like you weren't warned

The past seven years of course

Allowed you to master the drill

You just need to look at it as a whole

The numbers are final after all

It didn't sink in until you were back at your desk

All of a sudden, tears were rolling down your cheeks

Did you expect too much, aren't you being ungrateful?

Why does it even matter, you probably received more than most people

Young and underpaid, 

Haven't you accepted that long ago?

It has always been a fact

But it never stopped you from working hard

So why let it bother you now?

You look around you and 

you see the smile on the faces of your team,

These are people that you hired,

These are people you've trained since day one

You look at them working collectively

in awe of how each of one them has grown

You then realize that those numbers

Interesting and tangible as they may be

Will never tell you the whole story

Cliche as it may sound, your fulfillment comes

From things other than those figures

Haven't you learned anything

In the past seven years?

You've always known about greener pastures

But you'll always choose the side

Where happiness is effortless

So let today be a reminder

Of why it was worth it to stay

After all this time, and why it still is

The good will always outdo the bad

Today was an opportunity for me to look back and remember why I stayed after all this time, and why it was and still is worth it.

Long Distance

There will be a time...

When see you soon

won't mean a facetime call

When a goodnight kiss 

Won't be a tiny emoji

When 3 months worth of movie dates 

Won't be crammed in one weekend

When my good morning message is a whisper

Not read but heard

There will be a time...

When I will know what you're having for dinner 

Because we cooked it together

Not because I saw it on a picture

When a proud moment is shared

With a squeeze of my hand

Not by the like button on instagram

There will be a time

When i will be the last face you'll see

before you fall asleep

And you'll be next to me 

as the sun rises

I know that time will come

But for now, 

This will have to do

If The Ground Moves

O

Saturday night situation:

Enthralled by the beautiful poetry and artwork of my cousin Tanya while enjoying a bowl of fettucine alfredo with that sinful buttery slice of donut on the side.

Para kanino ka bumabangon?

One would think that after doing this for seven years, i would be immune to it by now- the coming and the going, packing and unpacking, the hug that leaves a lump on my throat, holding back the tears while driving to the airport. Well I can say that I have somehow gotten used to it. Normally the separation anxiety lasts about 3 hours max. The drive to the airport, the waiting at the pre departure area, the actual duration of the flight. As soon as as the city's skyscrapers come to view and the tires hit the runway, I'm over it. It's like something switches me back to being a citygirl and I feel happy to be back.

It's different this time though. The sadness lasted longer than expected, like my system forgot to reboot to a different mode. Even after walking around burgos circle, taking in the polluted air and walking past the call center crowd on yosi break, I still found myself clinging to the idea of being back home. And it stayed with me until I dozed off.

When I woke up the next day, I was finally okay. I looked forward to seeing my team, and to putting my plans for 2015 into action. It wasn't just that. A huge part of me was excited to get to work because there are bigger and bolder dreams to achieve this year, for my dad and my whole family.

Para kanino ka bumabangon? Para sa kanila 

Within me, there's something stronger, something better, pushing right back

I wish I found this poem before I wrote my 2014 year-ender entry. It pretty much sums up everything.

Today is my first working day for 2015.

I am all geared up and ready to begin my quest for #goodtogreat.

Thank you, 2014

For the most of this year, it felt like the world was spinning at a pace that I couldn't quite keep up with.

There was always something happening somewhere, events to attend, people to catch-up with, friends to support, places to visit and long overdue to-do list items. And up to the final month of the year, when things are normally expected to slow down (except for the Christmas shopping), time continued to rush at the same pace. Dinner after dinner dinner, one party came came after another; the weekends just weren't enough anymore for my exhausted body to recover.

Fortunately, i got to spend the last eight days of the year in my hometown and I finally got my much-needed downtime. The laid-back life in the province allowed me to get lots of sleep, and the hours I spent inside my old room was the perfect chance for me to clear my head and reflect.

As with every other year, I capped off 2013 with a sense of conviction that I was ready for anything that could happen in the coming year. (But don't we all?) Life or course never fails to surprise me as it has impeccable timing in shaking my world right exactly when I'm feeling so "chill" and complacent. I consider myself as somewhat a risktaker and I do like pushing myself, but the emotional rollercoaster ride that 2014 laid out for me was something I never would have signed up for. Sharp turns, dive drops and inverted loops filled my days until there was no other choice but to simply go along with the ride. Let go and Let God take control, as most people will say, and I learned just how true that was from first-hand experience. It wasn't all bad though. There were tears, lots of it, from frustration, from sadness, but there were also those that were triggered by pleasant surprises. And it was those moments that got me through, because with every disappointment and with every painful experience, I felt God working his miracle through people He intentionally placed in my life to help me keep the faith.

In the past four years, I watched myself go through various kinds of heartbreak, emerging as stronger and wiser after each one, convinced that I wouldn't mind going through it all again because it made me a better person. This time I'm not gonna lie. The type of heartbreak that I experienced in 2014 is not something I would want to experience if I had a choice, in fact I wouldn't wish it for anyone. But it happened, it's there and I can't deny it, sometimes I still see traces of it which I just choose to ignore. I have learned to look the other way when necessary because if there's one thing that 2014 taught me, it's that forgiveness doesn't happen overnight; it's a long process, a decision that you commit to every single day until you can finally say that you are completely healed.

It's been one heck of a rollercoaster ride 2014. More than any other year, you taught me how to keep my eyes open to the little miracles in a sea of bad days.

I will always be grateful oh Lord, for blessing me beyond what I can imagine, beyond what I've claimed. 

And I think there's no better way to show my gratitude, than to strive for bigger and bolder dreams, and being a blessing myself to others while I'm at it.

Watch out 2015, my #goodtogreat quest is about to begin. :)